An Open Letter To Dell.

Hello Dell.
How are you?
Listen....come close cuz this is only between you, me and the garbage you sell.

I'm sure you're aware that I spent $900 on your laptop (which I've so lovingly nicknamed "paperweight")
and because I paid so much for it
I expect a certain quality of performance.

Seems like a simple concept right?
A fair amount of flow should equal a laptop of relative performance.

But Dell, you've misled me.
You've misled me so hard.

Instead of receiving something I would consider "useful"
you've provided me with the equivalent of a battery operated handicapped piece of glorified flatscreen shit.
On the list of things I do NOT currently want in my life, "any product from Dell" is like....3rd.
(preceeded only by: a friend that drives a honda civic in second, and herpes in first.)

Your laptop has become such a waste of eyeball time to me
that I actually dug out my PC and set that up.
WHICH by the way
is a goddamm Dell.

Now, I've realized that I will never escape you and your cancerous products that include equally parasitic hardware (windows vista??? are you fuckin KIDDING ME?)
But to make a product this bad for that much, is to openly admit that you're ramming me directly in an exit only hole.

The only thing you ever did RIGHT with this foldable headache, was give it a power button.
Because at least there's a way for me to NOT have to deal with your putrid frustrating garbage.

As September approaches I can't possibly imagine how many students you're about to steal from.
I imagine the numbers will be astronomical.
All students who are more than horny to crack open one of your shitty new "personally colored edgy and fresh" laptops, only to realize they're about as useful as the kid in captain planet who had 'heart' as a power.

By mid school year
the only thing your laptops will be good for is a game of "personally colored edgy and fresh" ultimate frisbee (where the end zones are made of a trash can and the only way to win is to set said trash can on fire.)

So in conclusion Dell,
I hate you.

I hate you to the extreme.


On another note,
I'm selling a laptop.




love justin