a quick note for those in posession of tasteless buds:
there is no excuse for what you have.
Good is not relative.
Good is Good.
a final sentence of advice:
it's called bad taste because we can't stomach it.
love justin.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
An Open Letter To People With Bad Taste.
a quick note for those in posession of tasteless buds:
there is no excuse for what you have.
Good is not relative.
Good is Good.
a final sentence of advice:
it's called bad taste because we can't stomach it.
love justin.
Monday, August 25, 2008
An Open Letter To Le Chateau.
More like Le SHITeau.
First of all.
how DARE you try to tell me how to spend my money you pretencious provider of all that is wrong with the night life in my town.
I was in need of a tie as I'm attending a wedding on saturday.
After my hunt came up fruitless
I checked your fashion dungeon and much to my surprise you had the tie i wanted.
A bigger surprise awaited me in the form of a the price tag.
$40 for a tie.
$40.
I paid a heating bill once for $40.
a heating bill.
I was warm for an entire month
for $40.
and you want me to fork over a month of warm
for a shitty excuse for sternum protection.
Once I reluctantly purchased your tie
it quickly dawned on me that purchasing your product was a horrible idea.
So I made hast down the mall and found a cheaper tie.
a $20 cheaper tie...
THAT CAME WITH A GODDAMM SHIRT YOU DICKS.
I threw down half of what it cost to buy your tie
and got a tie and a dress shirt.
If there's one thing I've learned in life
it's that shit like that...
doesn't happen.
So I happily jumped onto that wagon of hope.
half the price and twice the merch.
how could I not?
Now Le Shiteau....the problem exists in your "credit or exchange only" policy.
The problem being:
it exists.
and you want people to take it seriously.
When I went to return your fashionably upside down neuce, I was delightfully met with an apology and was pleasantly reassured that there was a men's section for the $40 of my money you were about to put on a gift card (which probablly had some kid with hair better than mine on it having fun in the summer with a girl and a beachball)
Le Shiteau, it's a pretty simple concept really.
I give you money for something and you give me the something.
If I don't want that something, I give it back to you for my money.
You don't get to keep the merchandise and force me to spend my money there again.
I returned your product for a reason!
I don't want to return something I don't want for the chance to have a card that purchases more of what I don't want while you get to resell what I didn't want after you've MADE me respend my money there....
most likely on something I don't want
and will probablly try to return.
You know what I'm sayin Le Shiteau?
Luckily this time
you had an employee working who caved into refunding me once I busted out the "Lady....look at me......what the hell about me says I'll come back here?" speech.
So consider this a warning.
Don't try to pull that shit with me again
or else I'll write ANOTHER letter about your perrier water drinkin fauxhawked ass.
love justin
First of all.
how DARE you try to tell me how to spend my money you pretencious provider of all that is wrong with the night life in my town.
I was in need of a tie as I'm attending a wedding on saturday.
After my hunt came up fruitless
I checked your fashion dungeon and much to my surprise you had the tie i wanted.
A bigger surprise awaited me in the form of a the price tag.
$40 for a tie.
$40.
I paid a heating bill once for $40.
a heating bill.
I was warm for an entire month
for $40.
and you want me to fork over a month of warm
for a shitty excuse for sternum protection.
Once I reluctantly purchased your tie
it quickly dawned on me that purchasing your product was a horrible idea.
So I made hast down the mall and found a cheaper tie.
a $20 cheaper tie...
THAT CAME WITH A GODDAMM SHIRT YOU DICKS.
I threw down half of what it cost to buy your tie
and got a tie and a dress shirt.
If there's one thing I've learned in life
it's that shit like that...
doesn't happen.
So I happily jumped onto that wagon of hope.
half the price and twice the merch.
how could I not?
Now Le Shiteau....the problem exists in your "credit or exchange only" policy.
The problem being:
it exists.
and you want people to take it seriously.
When I went to return your fashionably upside down neuce, I was delightfully met with an apology and was pleasantly reassured that there was a men's section for the $40 of my money you were about to put on a gift card (which probablly had some kid with hair better than mine on it having fun in the summer with a girl and a beachball)
Le Shiteau, it's a pretty simple concept really.
I give you money for something and you give me the something.
If I don't want that something, I give it back to you for my money.
You don't get to keep the merchandise and force me to spend my money there again.
I returned your product for a reason!
I don't want to return something I don't want for the chance to have a card that purchases more of what I don't want while you get to resell what I didn't want after you've MADE me respend my money there....
most likely on something I don't want
and will probablly try to return.
You know what I'm sayin Le Shiteau?
Luckily this time
you had an employee working who caved into refunding me once I busted out the "Lady....look at me......what the hell about me says I'll come back here?" speech.
So consider this a warning.
Don't try to pull that shit with me again
or else I'll write ANOTHER letter about your perrier water drinkin fauxhawked ass.
love justin
Sunday, August 24, 2008
An Open Letter To Dell.
Hello Dell.
How are you?
Listen....come close cuz this is only between you, me and the garbage you sell.
I'm sure you're aware that I spent $900 on your laptop (which I've so lovingly nicknamed "paperweight")
and because I paid so much for it
I expect a certain quality of performance.
Seems like a simple concept right?
A fair amount of flow should equal a laptop of relative performance.
But Dell, you've misled me.
You've misled me so hard.
Instead of receiving something I would consider "useful"
you've provided me with the equivalent of a battery operated handicapped piece of glorified flatscreen shit.
On the list of things I do NOT currently want in my life, "any product from Dell" is like....3rd.
(preceeded only by: a friend that drives a honda civic in second, and herpes in first.)
Your laptop has become such a waste of eyeball time to me
that I actually dug out my PC and set that up.
WHICH by the way
is a goddamm Dell.
Now, I've realized that I will never escape you and your cancerous products that include equally parasitic hardware (windows vista??? are you fuckin KIDDING ME?)
But to make a product this bad for that much, is to openly admit that you're ramming me directly in an exit only hole.
The only thing you ever did RIGHT with this foldable headache, was give it a power button.
Because at least there's a way for me to NOT have to deal with your putrid frustrating garbage.
As September approaches I can't possibly imagine how many students you're about to steal from.
I imagine the numbers will be astronomical.
All students who are more than horny to crack open one of your shitty new "personally colored edgy and fresh" laptops, only to realize they're about as useful as the kid in captain planet who had 'heart' as a power.
By mid school year
the only thing your laptops will be good for is a game of "personally colored edgy and fresh" ultimate frisbee (where the end zones are made of a trash can and the only way to win is to set said trash can on fire.)
So in conclusion Dell,
I hate you.
I hate you to the extreme.
On another note,
I'm selling a laptop.
love justin
An Open Letter To Whoever Owns the New Radio Station in Sydney.
I fail to see the reason for a new/not new radio station.
I use the term 'not new' because really.....what are they bringing to the table?
Another bowl of lame maybe??
Well pass the talent spices because this Nickelback is tasteless!
You would think that the purpose behind something like this would be to open a new station and expose thousands to terrifically written songs.
Really show the majority of people out there that music hasn't died and been replaced with everything from the 80's and 1997
(OMC - How Bizarre.....i'm looking at you.)
A new station should provide an outlet for more local content. More content worth hearing.
It's a new chance to reignite an important relationship.
With everything gone the way of digital, it becomes increasingly important that we continue our connection with radio.
It is a dying medium. For a breif moment, I had hopes that this new station could help re-engage listeners. Wake Cape Breton
up out of it's musically challenged slumber.
But now, as I sit and give radio another try, it occurs to me that yet another station has hacked away at the importance of
it's own exsistence by airing a song by some guy named "Hip Joint".
I can't imagine what the real musicians out there think of all this.
It's ironic in a way.
We'll hear debates about the merits of radio and how important a tool it is. How it can't be lost in the new digital takeover.
But then when they play music slightly above the level of stepped on bubble gum, it makes me laugh. Because the same people who
are trying to protect radio are actually setting it up for failure. Who wants to save something that makes us cringe and long for a mute button?
Instead of musical growth and something worth our time, we just end up with another station that has provided the option of
hearing the same horrible sludge on a different set of airwaves.
Congratulations Marimiters, you've just been given the same trash somewhere else!
It's the equivalent of a washed up music yard sale.
Shame on you new/not new radio station, for assuming people don't want to hear something a little more intelligent than
*insert new song by artist with an ironic name*.
*****was published in the Cape Breton Post back in may...
magine.
love justin.
I use the term 'not new' because really.....what are they bringing to the table?
Another bowl of lame maybe??
Well pass the talent spices because this Nickelback is tasteless!
You would think that the purpose behind something like this would be to open a new station and expose thousands to terrifically written songs.
Really show the majority of people out there that music hasn't died and been replaced with everything from the 80's and 1997
(OMC - How Bizarre.....i'm looking at you.)
A new station should provide an outlet for more local content. More content worth hearing.
It's a new chance to reignite an important relationship.
With everything gone the way of digital, it becomes increasingly important that we continue our connection with radio.
It is a dying medium. For a breif moment, I had hopes that this new station could help re-engage listeners. Wake Cape Breton
up out of it's musically challenged slumber.
But now, as I sit and give radio another try, it occurs to me that yet another station has hacked away at the importance of
it's own exsistence by airing a song by some guy named "Hip Joint".
I can't imagine what the real musicians out there think of all this.
It's ironic in a way.
We'll hear debates about the merits of radio and how important a tool it is. How it can't be lost in the new digital takeover.
But then when they play music slightly above the level of stepped on bubble gum, it makes me laugh. Because the same people who
are trying to protect radio are actually setting it up for failure. Who wants to save something that makes us cringe and long for a mute button?
Instead of musical growth and something worth our time, we just end up with another station that has provided the option of
hearing the same horrible sludge on a different set of airwaves.
Congratulations Marimiters, you've just been given the same trash somewhere else!
It's the equivalent of a washed up music yard sale.
Shame on you new/not new radio station, for assuming people don't want to hear something a little more intelligent than
*insert new song by artist with an ironic name*.
*****was published in the Cape Breton Post back in may...
magine.
love justin.
An Open Letter To Telus.
Telus.
Why.
WHY did you decide to do it now. I avoided a phone for so long.
I was a blissfully ignorant witness to free incoming text messages for what seems like ages...
and then when i cave
you fuckers change the rules and start charging me just a little bit more.
because...you know.....i'm not paying enough out the ass as it is for your unnecessary product.
AND...to top THAT nonsense off...
your poisonous contraption routinely redelivers messages....so pleasantly labeled as a 'duplicate'....
which is code for: "you just got fucked out of 30 cents this time".
30 cents Telus....
thats way closer to a dollar than 15 cents....
You're testing my patience Telus.
If I so much as get a triple duplicate text message once this shit goes down...
I'll need to be commited.
and you'll find out about it too
cuz i'll text message the shit out of your offices
and so help me if you reply and i get charged....
Why.
WHY did you decide to do it now. I avoided a phone for so long.
I was a blissfully ignorant witness to free incoming text messages for what seems like ages...
and then when i cave
you fuckers change the rules and start charging me just a little bit more.
because...you know.....i'm not paying enough out the ass as it is for your unnecessary product.
AND...to top THAT nonsense off...
your poisonous contraption routinely redelivers messages....so pleasantly labeled as a 'duplicate'....
which is code for: "you just got fucked out of 30 cents this time".
30 cents Telus....
thats way closer to a dollar than 15 cents....
You're testing my patience Telus.
If I so much as get a triple duplicate text message once this shit goes down...
I'll need to be commited.
and you'll find out about it too
cuz i'll text message the shit out of your offices
and so help me if you reply and i get charged....
An Open Letter To Flash.
Dear Flash,
How in the hell am I supposed to pay off my debt from school
when your piece of shit program routinely disappears from my screen, taking with it, everything I worked on up to that terrifically frustrating event?
Are you gonna reimburse me for the money I've lost??
Are you gonna touch base with student loans and tell them your asshole program deleted my scene and took with it a ridiculously interest heavy minimum loan payment?
You've screwed me once again flash.
I hate you.
and now...because the world works so terrifically magical....I have to, yet again, go back to working on you.
And if all goes well..
you'll shut off and delete everything I re-did because you suck flash...
you suck worse than jenny jones.
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